Music / Security/identity · 2006-12-05

Bohemian Rhapsody in the key of ID

On request, here are the lyrics to the parody song performed tonight at the IIWb “un-talent show” by what Kaliya calls the ID Gang Choir. Many thanks to my co-writers and co-performers, who were apparently game for anything! (When I’m less tired I’ll put up some of the pix and maybe share more of the backstory…)

Bohemian Identity

a parody of Bohemian Rhapsody by Eve Maler, Laurie Rae, Peter Tapling, Derek Fluker, Bill Johnson, and Wes Kussmaul, with apologies to the late great Freddie Mercury

Is this the real life, or a directory
Caught in the OSIS, no escape from identity
Open your I-D to be spied and see
I’m just an agent, and I’m an entity
Because I ask who am, I to you, I don’t care, I thought you knew
Any way the claim flows doesn’t really matter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man, his name is password hell, and he’s not encrypted well
Drama from websites outdone, Web 2 dot 0 had blown them all away
Passport, ooh, didn’t mean to make us cry
If my session’s gone away this time tomorrow
Single off, single on, as if nothing really matters

Login, the time has come, time to prove what’s mine is mine, fingers aching all the time
Logout everybody, I’ve got to go, when I broke that seventh law I faced the truth
Mama ooh (any way the claim flows), I must now rely, on attributes not seen before at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me
Authorizer (authorizer), authorizer (authorizer)
Authorizer LID – O-pen I-D
I’m just a token nobody knows me
He’s just a token from a weak authority
Spare him his life from anonymity
Single off, single on, will you authorize
Bismillah! No, we will not authorize (authorize)
Bismillah! No, we will not authorize (authorize)
Bismillah! No, we will not authorize (authorize)
Will not authorize (authorize)
Will not authorize (authorize)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia authorize
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think SAML2 can solve all your use cases
Let me SXIP in and OpenID some CardSpaces
Oh baby, can’t do this to me baby
Just gotta sign out, just gotta sign right outta here

But it really matters, AuthN and authZ,
Yes it really matters, it’s all that really matters – I-D

Any way the claim flows

(Written on 4 December 2006 and performed on 5 December 2006 at the Internet Identity Workshop in Mountain View, CA. Creative Commons license: This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.)

Tag: iiw2006b